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soleilseven
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Name: Elaina
Country: United States
State: New York
Metro: New York City
Birthday: 2/20/1981
Gender: Female
Interests: lying in dirt and watching Unsolved Mysteries
Occupation: Other
Industry: Art
Message: message me
Member Since:
8/12/2004
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| Put this in your pipe and smoke it:
"I
think there are lots of ways leading very good lives and growing
spiritually. This process of growth goes on whether we believe in
it or not."
-Jim Henson
I think I love this city as much as I love myself. HAHAHA.
Ok, there's more than an ounce of truth to that. But seriously, I
pretty much love the city more than I did just visiting and such.
I thought it was going to be a lot different, so I'm reconciling my
hopes and the reality. But so far, I'm realizing every day the
unique things I get to see and do. BUT......
It's so goddam expensive I don't think I'll ever catch up.
EVER!!!! Constantly being broke is a bit maddening.
Which leads me to certainty that I will move to central Virginia, live
in a co-op, pay next to nothing in rent, take the bus everywhere I go,
and write music and play songs for people in coffee shops up and down
the east coast. Until I get bored of that and move to South
Africa. Which would be something I would do.
I can't imagine settling down though. Seriously. Moving for
me is how I escape a broken heart, disappointment, and also scare the
crap out of my parents as well as myself.
So there. A little more insight.
Check out my band's myspace! http://www.myspace.com/runawaysuns
We don't suck. Seriously.
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| Maybe it's psychological, but ever since the first of October, things are so much better! What the eff?
I'm so glad. Yay. I just got a pretty kickass job
assignment, my relationships are kind of more on the normal side with
all of my friends/boys/family. To the point I am not at all in
the dumps about anymore. And I'm playing music like crazy so
that's been a great distraction.
No longer is this pitiful girl a sad clown. I'm a happy puppy.
I saw the John Butler Trio. They're amazing. Go see them live before they retreat back to Australia if you can.
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| Hey kids.
Ok, this will be the last you hear from me for a while as I'm going on
a mental hiatus. I'll still be checking and commenting, but not
writing entries. This is my shiney happy Xanga, and unfortunately
that does not match my life right now.
Seriously, September rolled around and everyone has lost their
minds. ANOTHER suicide attempt by a DIFFERENT friend of a friend,
things changing with people who I really care about (that's the biggest
bummer of them all), AND getting used to a new job with a lot of
responsibilities and challenges I wasn't prepared for.....
I'm afraid of what might be next. Whatever it is, I don't think I
can handle it.
Yes I'm whining.
Yes I'd like some pity.
I'd also like for things to stop changing from under my fingers and just be boring for a while.
Don't worry, I don't think my sense of humor is completely broken.
Here, I'll try to prove it:
Link for those who can't see the pic: http://www.pbase.com/sheila/image/19631777
Hm, guess it's still broken. I'm trying..
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| I got some news today that an acquaintence of mine killed herself. I
didn't know her well, and I'm not going to pretend like I did. But it
did get me thinking and this song by Bobby Gaylor sums it up.
(It's long, so bear with it.....)
Animals don't have a choice.
If they're not happy with their place in the world... too bad.
They have to live the life they've been given.
Humans, on the other hand, don't have to.
We have a choice.
If you don't like your place in the world
you can get off anytime you want.
Suicide. That's right.
You don't like the way your life's going,
you don't like the way you are in the world,
anything around you,
you can check out anytime you like.
Animals aren't allowed that thought
and believe me, if they were, they would use it.
There'd be a lot of dogs and cats, owned by assholes
that live in high-rises, diving out the windows.
Zebras... if they even had remotely that thought
would take a look at themselves and go, "What the F*#K!
Black & white in a green & brown world... this blows.
I'm
just gonna jump in the river.... I don't have a thumb to work a gun or
hold a knife or even open a jar of pills. I'm just gonna dive into the
next lion's mouth. Why even bother?"
Now, monkeys have the opposable
thumb so they could kinda do it the exact same way we do. Now, there's
a bunch of people that say, "Oh, it's against the law". Well, it's only
against the law if you do a crappy job and get caught. Other people
say, "Oh, we should save them". Yeah, well you know what? Not everybody
wants to be saved. Not everybody should be saved. And who are we to
force our will upon them? I mean, isn't that one of the joys about
being a human? Freedom of choice? Now, it's not all bad. Now, I'm not
saying "Kill yourself". But if you're gonna be an idiot and do it
anyway, it's no sweat off of my back. There's a lot of good that could
come from it. A little bit of bad thrown in. Some of the things: A job
will open... An apartment will become available... There'll be more air
for me... They say there's two girls for every guy - if you're a man,
there'll be four chicks for me...
There'll be more Ketel One vodka for me... There'll be one less idiot
in line at the bank who gets up to the window without their F*#King
slips filled out... I won't ever have to go to the store to buy my
favorite Salt & Vinegar Chips and have the clerk point at you and
say, "They bought the last bag"....
You won't help change the McDonald's sign to a Hundred Billion
Served... You'll never get AIDS... You won't have to worry about
calories ever... No more, "Hey, does this make me look fat?"...
There'll be one less polluting human...You won't have to recycle...
There'll be one less car on the road... There'll be more Ring Dings for
me... Fifty or so chickens' lives will be spared... Your fingers won't
ever get red from eating pistachios... You won't be forced to visit
your Grandparents on Sundays anymore... No more church... You'll be
saying, "Hey, World - Kiss My Ass!"...
No more wet dreams about Supermodels... No more Barry Manilow... For a
few years anyway... Wondering "Am I a loser?" will be a thing of the
past... Say good-bye to crappy Xmas presents from Aunts and Uncles...
You won't have to suffer through a Motley Crue reunion... F*#K flossing
and brushing...
You'll never lose sleep over a pregnancy scare... Adios, Acne...
Worrying whether you fit in or not won't be on your brain... See ya
later, homework... You'll never have to sit through another movie
brought to you by the creators of South Park... Schools out forever....
No more paying bills... You won't have to do chores... You won't be
able to run over toads with the lawnmower though... You'll also miss
McDonald's French Fries... Bugs Bunny... The amazing electrifying
feeling that surges through your body when you kiss someone for the
first time...
You won't be able to watch the letterbox director's
cut of Jaws... Candy... Living above ground... Pudding crust... You'll
miss the rush of getting your first apartment...
Getting to the point in your life where you can tell your parents to
"F*#K Off! I gotta make my own mistakes....you did"... You'll miss sex
- you'll miss thinking about it, looking for it, sex by yourself, sex
with a partner, sex with multiple partners... No more summer nights
that seem to go on forever... Roller coasters.... Naming your kid the
name you always wanted... Making a difference in the world... You'll
miss the experience and pleasure of Hallucinogenics... Watching your
neighbor's wife change clothes with her blinds open... A lifetime of
masturbating...
Watching your favorite team sweep the series... Music... You will
definitely miss music... Trying to sneak into your house drunk - three
hours past your curfew... You'll miss the blaze and glory of the 4th of
July fireworks... The taste of Captain Crunch... If you're a boy,
you'll miss the feeling the first time you reach up a girl's shirt...
If you're a girl, the feeling the first time you reach down a boy's
pants... You'll miss your favorite coat... Waffles with whipped cream
and strawberries... Beating your friends at video games... You won't be
around to see what shape and color the new marshmallow in Lucky Charms
will be... You'll miss the feeling you get when reminiscing about your
first love - thirty years after the fact... The joy of giving and
receiving at Christmas... Skinny dipping... Getting stoned, reading
Green Eggs & Ham, and eating like a horse that got loose in the
grain bin... Flying cars... Hey, you were born - Finish what was
started.
(peace to her and her family. and peace to my friends
who I love dearly and would never want to lose, no matter how shitty
things get.)
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| ( I copied and pasted this from an email, so sorry to the 2 people who got this from me earlier).
Last night I saw the most awesome punk pop band ever. Here's how
awesome they were.
A)Their name is Rookie of the Year. Score one. (Or, as my
friend Matt calls them, "Emo Up the Ass" which isn't a bad name
actually.)
B) They are from a small town in North Carolina, b/c we all know good
pop punk comes from places where there's nothing to do.
C) And this is the ass kicker... The lead singer played the entire
time with his hood up of his black hooded sweatshirt. AND for their
opening song, it was just the lead singer playing acoustic guitar and
gradually the other members of the band floated onto the stage and
then they hit the crecendo and rocked it liked they rehearsed it a
million times in their garage.
I was a little jealous actually.
D) I'm now on their mailing list. I am so ashamed.
E) my name starts with E. Emo starts with E. You see where I'm going with this.
Here's their web-site. Rookie of the Year.
I should get a free t-shirt from them for this promotion.
In other news, I am only slowly recovering from my crazy week.
I'm not sure how I'm coping, but I am. Maybe I'm not as tough as
everybody thinks....but I'll let everyone keep thinking it.
Next week = no going out. Except for band rehearsal.
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